Changing Traditions

The tree is up, the gifts are wrapped, and I'm finally ready for Christmas. Now, I sit here reflecting and thinking of past Christmases when traditions seemed so important.

When I was a child, my dad always cut down a fresh tree and we decorated a week before Christmas. When I got older, my younger sister and I trudged into the woods with him to help pick out a tree. Nowadays, I have an artificial tree and I decorate the Friday after Thanksgiving. Decorating is a lot of work and I put up quite a few. I'm just lazy enough to want to leave them up as long as possible before I have to go to all the trouble of un-decorating.

My artificial tree used to be fat and tall, like the trees from my childhood. Nowadays, my tree is still tall, but not so fat. I got a pencil tree so it'd take up less room--and I needed to make a space for all the presents. Now that Santa doesn't visit my house any more, everything gets wrapped and shoved under the tree--another tradition bites the dust.

We used to go to my grandparent's house for Christmas Eve supper too. My dad's entire family would be there: Uncles, aunts, cousins, even some great aunts and uncles and cousins. The next morning, we'd go back for brunch. As my cousins married and started families of their own, fewer and fewer cousins were able to make it to my grandparent's house. After my younger sister and I got married and had children of our own, we started having Christmas Eve supper at my parents' house and going to my grandparent's the next morning. Even that changed as my children got older. Then my grandparents died, and the family stopped gathering.

Grandparents have a way of holding a family together for the holidays--until the grandchildren start having children of their own. Then a new generation of grandparents begin new traditions. Or so it seems in my family. I don't have grandchildren yet, but my oldest daughter lives in Germany.

Because of the six-hour time difference we now exchange gifts on Christmas Eve morning via SKYPE. After the gift exchange, my daughter runs off with her boyfriend to spend time with his family. My husband and I go to my cousin's house, where I once again see those aunts, uncles and cousins. And we go to my parents' house after lunch on Christmas Day. These days, I work a lot of Christmas mornings for half a day to allow those with children to be home for Santa Claus.

For years now, we've celebrated Christmas with my husband's family the week before Christmas in an effort to eliminate the stress of so many families trying to divide Christmas day into rushed visits. But now that my sister in law lives in Utah, we seldom see her any more.

As I grow older, I find my life changing and those Christmas traditions I cherished as a child must change as well or the meaning of the holiday will get lost. My tree is no longer real, but I have the same ornaments. From the two turtle doves, now slightly mangled by a troublesome cat, to the first ornament I bought as a married woman and my daughters' "My First Christmas" ornaments, the tree still holds some traditions. And while we we no longer rise at the crack of dawn to see what Santa brought, I still get up early on Christmas morning to go to work. And we still go to my parents' house on Christmas Day. But these days, we have our traditional oyster stew for a late lunch or early supper rather than at brunch.

Life changes and it's sometimes stressful. But Christmas isn't about the gifts or the dinners. It's about family and finding time to be with them and remember why we celebrate. So, no matter if your Christmas involves following time-honored traditions, creating new traditions of your own, or just trying to fit as many people into your plans as possible, take time to remember the reason we celebrate.

Real Life Heroes Fart

Heroes are basically the same, especially romantic heroes. They may vary in size, coloring and ethnicity, but they are nearly always physically fit and nicely toned. Every woman wants him and every man wants to be him. It’s not just the romance hero either. Action heroes exhibit these same characteristics—and more often than not, action and suspense books/movies have a hint of romance. 

In the Bourne Identify, Jason Bourne has Marie St. Jacques. Jack Ryan "Clear and Present Danger" and "Patriot Games" has his wife.

 

In the Indiana Jones films, “Indie” successfully pursues an artifact and a woman. There’s even a romantic subplot in the Terminator movies.

And while James Bond isn’t monogamous, he always gets the girl. Or girls. He even gets married in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service.” He falls so madly in love with his wife, Tracy, he’s willing to give up his career and his free-loving bachelor ways.

Whether our hero is from a romance novel or an action movie, he’s going to come out on top no matter what the villain or life throws at him. Oh, they may lose a skirmish, but our hero is always the victor.

Heroes are never lazy, and they’re never slobs. They may get dirty in the jungle or after a brawl, but they clean up nicely afterwards and they never have morning breath. They don’t procrastinate or whine and although they may have an odd quirk, a hero has good manners and is never rude. 

In real life, heroes fart. And morning sex usually requires turned heads or a quick dash to the bathroom for a rinse or a brush—especially if your real life hero ate oysters and drank beer the night before. Otherwise, that sour smell coming from both your mouths could ruin the moment.

Trust me, there’s nothing romantic about morning breath. Or farting. I know. Woman pass gas too. But it’s not usually a source of amusement for them. Fictional heroes would never fart in the bed just before his lover joins him.

My real life hero not only passes gas in bed, he once had the bright idea to fart beneath the covers and then pull them over my head. OMG! I thought I was going to die. He laughed uncontrollably. I threatened to vomit on his crotch. 

It wasn’t his finest moment. But he’s still my hero, even after thirty-one years of marriage.

My husband with our youngest when she was7

He’s not rich, powerful, or titled. He doesn’t own his own business and he’s not a CEO. But he’s a dedicated, hardworking, responsible man who puts his family first.

Hubby with oldest when she
was 3

He’s a wonderful father and supportive husband.   

He stood by me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. He never hesitated to lift my handicapped sister from her wheelchair and carry her to the car or the sofa when she still had the muscle control to sit alone. 

He didn’t complain when I wanted to take her on a family beach trip either. He even pushed her chair through the sand so she could sit on the beach.

And since I became a published author, he does the laundry more often than I do. He’s not the role model for any of my romance heroes, but Devin Flannery from Wholesale Husband reminds me of him.

Lazy Days

Today, I'm going to be lazy. Kind of like in that Bruno Mars song I like so much. Or, at least that's what I'd like to be doing today. I'd like to lay in my bed and read. Or sit at my desk in my PJ's and write. But, despite having the day off, I have a dozen or more things I need to accomplish.

 My daughter and her husband have been gone for a week now. They headed back to Germany last Friday. It feels as if they've been gone a month. They were with his family the first week, split the difference the second week, and spent most of that third week with us. So, my husband and I took a week off to be with them. We didn't really go anywhere. We had more of a stacation than a vacation, but we stuffed that week full of fun.

There was bowling, fishing, pool parties, shopping, and lots of dining out. People were in and out all week, mostly my daughter's girl friends from "the old days" lol, and a cousin that's always been like a daughter to me. It was a fun week. And now,  I feel as if I'm a month behind on everything. Writing, cleaning, laundry.

My daughter did her own laundry while she was here. She even helped keep the towels washed. But, there were just so many towels. Especially beach towels from the pool parties. They take up a lot of room in the wash. And I'm still behind. But at least I got all the sheets washed and fresh ones put on the bed. Even mine.

Despite the fact that the house needs cleaning, today was supposed to be my Lazy Day. I was going to do a little laundry, a little reading and a lot of writing. But, now the air conditioner on my car is on the fritz. My youngest graduates from UNC's Radiation Therapy program this weekend and we still don't have new dresses to wear and I have a dozen errands to run.

So, I guess I'll jut have to pop in a CD, find that Bruno Mars song, and turn the volume way up in the car while I'm driving around, running those errands, and wishing I could have my Lazy Day to do nothing but read and write.

What do you like to do on your lazy days?