Get Your Pink On!

It's October. That time of year when I once again remind ladies to 

As a registered x-ray technologist certified in mammography and a breast cancer survivor, I can't stress enough the importance of an annual screening mammogram. It's one of the few x-ray examinations that can save your life.

I know some women find them painful. Believe me. I hear it all the time. But a mammogram isn't nearly as painful as breast cancer. Trust me on this.

In June 2007, I had my screening mammogram. My friend and sister mammographer, Linda, "squeezed" me in after we'd finished our patients for the day. This was back when our hospital still had film screen, so the x-rays dropped from a processor. I pulled the curtain in the tech area and was standing in front of the view box in my pink floral cape when Linda began hanging the films. The Left CC (cranial-caudal--the film taken from the top of the breast) fell from the processor first. It looked fine. No different from the year before. Then the Right CC fell out. It looked--different from the mammogram I'd had 18 months earlier.

Yes, I was 6 months late getting my mammogram, but I had no pain, no lumps, no family history, and no reason to be concerned. Until I saw that Right CC. There, next to my chest wall on the inside of my right breast was a star-shaped lesion with a large calcification in the center. That same lesion was evident on the RMLO (right medial-lateral obligque image--the one taken from the side.) But it was the Friday before Father's Day and the radiologist had already gone home. So, I had all weekend to worry about that lesion. And suddenly, I had a BIG reason for concern. I'm not a doctor or radiologist, but I'd seen enough mammograms and enough cancers in my time to know that lesion didn't look good.

On Monday, the radiologist ordered additional images and an ultrasound. I had those procedures the following Friday. And the Friday after that, I had a biopsy. The results came back July 3, 2007. I had breast cancer. Stage 1, but on the cusp of being Stage 2 because the margins weren't clean and the cancer had a high proliferation rate...which meant is was aggressive and growing fast. I had DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma Insitu- an early cancer that is still contained in the ducts) and an invasive ductal carcinoma--a cancer in the duct that has spread to the surrounding tissue. And it was triple negative.


Triple-negative breast cancer doesn't express the genes for estrogen receptor (ER), progesterone receptor (PR) or Her2/neu. Prognosis for Triple Negative breast cancer is the same for other breast cancers at the same stage, but more aggressive treatment is require to achieve that prognosis.

Some types of triple negative breast cancer are known to be more aggressive with poor prognosis, while other types have a prognosis similar to or better than hormone receptor positive breast cancers. Studies of  triple negative breast cancers suggest that with optimal treatment, 20 year survival rates are close to those of hormone positive cancer.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple-negative_breast_cancer

Although my cancer was Stage 1, I had a lumpectomy where more tissue was removed from the breast to ensure "clean" margins and I had to have a lymph node biopsy to prove the cancer hadn't spread beyond the breast. Four nodes were removed and all four were negative. But because of my triple negative status, I had to have chemo and radiation. I had the chemo first.--two chemo drugs, Adriamycin and Cytoxan once every other week for eight weeks. Then after an MRI to prove there were no more lesions or DCIS, I was given the choice of a mastectomy and radiation, or radiation treatments five days a week for 6 weeks.

I chose to keep my breast, which meant mammograms every six months for 3 years and yearly MRI's for three. To this day, there are times when I second guess my decision to keep my breast. But, had I chosen a mastectomy, I'm sure I would have second-guessed that decision as well.

Triple negative breast cancer has a different recurrence rate and pattern than hormone-positive breast cancers. The risk of recurrence is much higher for the first 3-5 years but drops sharply and substantially below that of hormone-positive breast cancers after that.

On December 12 of this year, it will be five years since my last radiation treatment. I will officially reach the five year mark and my personal risk of a recurrence will drop to that of someone with hormone positive breast cancer. Which isn't to say that I'm no longer at risk, but by God, I still think I have a reason to celebrate!

So the next time you hear a woman complaining about how much a mammogram hurts, remind her that a few seconds of discomfort could save her life.

If she claims she doesn't need a mammogram because she isn't having any problems, remind her that most breast cancers are silent and painless. By the time a woman feels a lump, she already has an active disease.

Remind her that if she has extremely dense breast, a mammogram can miss a lobular carcinoma hiding within the glandular tissue. So, if she feels a lump and the mammogram is normal, she needs an ultrasound and possibly a biopsy.

If she claims she doesn't have a family history of breast cancer, remind her that 70% of all NEW breast cancers are in women with no family history.

Hey, someone in the family has to be the first to screw up the gene pool. In my family, I was that person.

Although breast cancer is rare in women under 40 and the risk increases with age, no woman who has breasts is immune. That includes trans-gendered women.

Are you at risk? Check out the breast cancer assessment tool.
http://www.cancer.gov/bcrisktool/Default.aspx


And for more information on breast cancer, please visit http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/index?ssSourceSiteId=null

The Importance of Cancer Support Groups

Please welcome today's guest blogger, David Haas. 

The Importance of Cancer Support Groups

Cancer is one of the scariest words in any language. Even with a support network of friends and family, fighting cancer can feel like one of the loneliest battles a person can undertake. This is in part because only someone who has had cancer can truly relate. Cancer survivor networks allow the person with cancer to talk to someone who understands what they are going through.
Although friends and family mean well, people with cancer often feel a need to discuss what they are going through and what they will be going through with someone who knows. Cancer survivor networks offer that information from people who have been there. There are many ways for people with cancer to find a support group. For those who feel like getting out and meeting people face to face, many cities and towns have groups not only for people with cancer, but for their families too. Doctors often know of support groups and can recommend a group.

For those who either cannot or choose to not get out and meet people, there are many discussion boards and websites that offer support. These websites usually have a place for family members so that they can get support for the fears and feelings they have, as well as learning what they can do to support the patient. The American Cancer Society hosts a website that has discussion boards for nearly every kind of cancer. If a patient is suffering from breast cancer, there are many different links that offer guidance and support for patients going through treatment. The American Cancer Society website lists support groups for cancers whether it is a common cancer like breast cancer or a rare disease like mesothelioma.

Support groups can be an important part of fighting cancer. Support groups can help patients make it through the physical trials, such as pain and fatigue. Support groups can also help deal with the psychological aspects of dealing with cancer by offering emotional and stress support. Studies have found the belonging to a support group can reduce anxiety and depression. These groups can also help the patient while undergoing treatment, and patients tend to cope better with all of the issues of treatment by understanding they are not the only ones to go through those issues.

Belonging to a cancer support group can be instrumental in fighting cancer. These support groups give the patient a sense that they are not alone in their battle, and it gives them a belief that the battle can be won.

David, 

Thanks so much for sharing this valuable information. As a breast cancer survivor, I know the importance of not just family support, but support from other survivors. After I was diagnosed, the mother of one of my daughter's friends volunteered to go with me for my first chemo treatment. Before that day, we were merely acquaintances. But we shared a common bond. Cancer. She'd come through the other side of the same dark tunnel I was about to enter. And she knew what I was feeling while my family knew only what I was willing to share.

If you're fighting cancer, remember you don't have to fight alone. There are support groups out there.

Toni V. Sweeney's Breast Cancer Message

It's still breast cancer awareness week and today's message to women is from fellow author and breast cancer survivor, Toni V. Sweeney.

Good to Go for Another Year

Dear Ms. Sweeney:

            The radiologist has interpreted your recent mammogram and/or breast imaging study, and we are pleased to inform you that the results are normal or benign (no evidence of cancer).

            As you know, early detection of cancer is important…

Okay, so I can breathe easier for another year.  Had my yearly oncology check, my mammo, and I’m A-OK and good to go.          

It’s been ten years now since I had the mammogram that wasn’t benign, or normal.  Ten years since I detected that small lump during a self-exam.  Ten years since I sat in an exam room, waiting for the confirmation of what I was afraid I was going to hear.

When I found what I thought was a lump, I didn’t delay making an appointment and going to a doctor.  I’m usually a wait-and-see person but this time, I decided to meet the problem head-on.  Surprisingly, it was my doctor who dilly-dallied around.  Perhaps it was because I was unemployed and uninsured at the time, I don’t know, but after the biopsy confirming his diagnosis, I was told to “go home and wait,” that he’d call me with a referral to a surgeon.

Four weeks later, I was still waiting, and becoming panicky.  After several phone calls which weren’t returned, I tried to think what to do.  I was a stranger in a strange city in a new state, so I turned to the only place I could think of:  the American Cancer Society.  Three days after speaking to someone on the phone, I was on a gurney, being wheeled into surgery for a lumpectomy.  I didn’t know that a few hours later, as soon as I walked through the door of my apartment, in fact, I would get a phone call asking me to come back—right then!—because they needed to do a second one.

Everything went well.  I proceeded through radiation therapy, driving myself to the sessions each morning for six weeks.  Then, I was started on Tamoxifen therapy instead of the traditional chemo.  I gained 60 pounds on that route, going from a svelte 109 to a lumpy 165.  Never going to lose it, they tell me, but—hey! You’re alive, so stop your complaining that you’re not attractive any more.  (Forgive my sarcasm here.  That has been, and always will be, a source of psychological upset to me.)

As to the rest of that letter…”early detection…is very important.”

Don’t I know it! 

The year before I was diagnosed, I saw an ad on TV, stating that very thing, and the man I loved made me promise I’d do those self-exams and have a mammogram each year.  I assured him I was already doing that.  Soon afterward, he died, but my promised stayed in place.

The point of all this rambling is that, no matter what the AMA or any other medical association says, I personally think self-exams are important.  Early detection counts.  Train yourself to do the exam at the same time every month.  After your period is a good time, because then the breasts are sensitive to touch and you’re able to find lumps easier.  Some women prefer to do them in the shower, using soap and water to aid sliding fingers over surfaces; some prefer to lie prone; some stand in front of a mirror…but all do them, and that’s what counts.  Even if you find what you think is a lump and it turns out to be simply a swollen gland…well, that’s good, too, because you found something and you had it checked.

Keep doing just that, and let’s head off breast cancer at the pass!

 

Toni, your story is similar to so many stories I hear as a mammogapher. I'm so glad you did NOT ignore the lump. Too often, women ignore those lumps and the warning bells in their heads. They justify not going to the doctor because they assume it's just another cyst or feel secure because they don't have a family history of breast cancer. I didn't have a lump or a family history but I was diagnosed with stage 1 (sneaking into the stage 2 category) invasive carcinoma and DCIS (ductal carcinoma insitu) on a screening mammogram.

So, please ladies, don't ignore ANY changes in your breasts. Do self breast exams. Know your breasts. If you feel a lump, see your doctor. If you are under 35, he may not order a mammogram because of your breast density, but please insist on a breast ultrasound. Breast cancer in women under 40 isn't common. But it happens. EVERY day. So be aware. Get informed. And if you're over 40, schedule an annual mammogram. 

And now a bit about Toni~

AUTHOR BIO:

Toni V. Sweeney was born some time between the War Between the States and the Gulf War.  She has lived 30 years in the South, a score in the Middle West, and a decade on the Pacific Coast and now she’s trying for her second 30 on the Great Plains.  Her first novel was published in 1989. An accomplished artist as well as writer, she has a degree in Fine Art and a diploma in Graphic Art.  Toni maintains a website for herself and her pseudonym Icy Snow Blackstone, and has been associated with the South Coast Writer's Association, the Pink Fuzzy Slipper Writers, several other writer’s loops, myspace, Facebook, and YouTube. Her latest novel is Runaway Brother (Class Act Books, http://www.classactbooks.com/Runaway-Brother-by-Icy-Snow-Blackstone-Trade_p_308.html) and her next book, due for released November 15, is Blood Bay, a thriller, also to be released by Class Act Books.  It will be her 27th novel. 

Breast Cancer Screening Update

In 2009, the US Prevention Service Task Force (USPSTF) a government agency, issued new recommendations  for mammograms and breast cancer screenings. This controversial new recommendation suggested women younger than 50 without a family history of breast cancer didn't need an annual mammogram. They also recommended that screening exams for women between 50 and 74 were needed every OTHER year, not annually. This reversed the USPSTF's 2002 recommendations and went against the American Cancer Society and the American College of Radiology, both of which recommend baseline mammograms at age 35 and annual screenings of ALL women after age 40. There's also no cut off age, as healthy women in their  early to mid 80's should still have mammograms.

The USPTF's recommendations to NOT screen before age 50 was based on a study that showed screening 1,330 women over age 50 saved one life but it took 1,904 screening mammograms to save the life of one woman in the 40-50 age group.  Hmm. I'm betting that one woman was damn glad she got screened!

The agency also suggested that screening led to false positives which then led to negative biopsies. They implied the biopsies were unnecessary. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have 4 negative biopsies than 1 positive one. Oh. Wait. I've had one of each. And let me tell you, after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007, I was relieved my 2008 biopsy was negative. 

The thing is, doctors are not going to biopsy women willy nilly. If a doctor recommends a biopsy, it's because the radiologist saw something suspicious in the breast. It may turn out to be a cyst, lipoma, fibroadenoma, inflammation, or fibrocystic changes. But it could also be cancer. I'm not willing to bet my life on it and I don't think most informed women would either.

The truth is, doctors have been ordering mammograms since the 1940's but it wasn't until the 1990's that the government (and insurance companies) recognized the need for early detection and the need for screening mammograms.  From 1940 to 1990, the death rate from breast cancer remained unchanged. From 1990 to present day, more women are getting screening mammograms and the death rates from breast cancer have decreased by 30%. That in itself says a lot about the need for early detection. Also, breast cancer is usually more aggressive in women younger than 50. 

Honestly, I think extending the life expectancy of everyone is a good idea, but it is an especially good idea for women under 50. Early detection saves lives and women in a breast cancer screening program who are diagnosed with breast cancer are more likely to be diagnosed in stage one than women who find a palpable lump. Any woman who has annual clinical breast exams and a mammogram is in a breast screening program. And the program works better if the patient has their mammogram at the same facility each year. 
If you decide to change facilities, remember to have your prior mammograms sent to the new facility.

Many doctors have chosen to ignore the US Prevention Service Task Force's mammogram recommendation. Unfortunately, the task force recently denounced self-breast exams. The agency claimed women didn't know how to do them and would therefore, stress needlessly if they found a lump that was actually normal glandular tissue. Now imagine how much more stress those women would undergo if they followed the government guidelines and stopped doing self-breast exams and were later diagnosed with breast cancer after the doctor found a palpable lump on clinical breast exam. I'm betting most women would rather find a lump that wasn't a lump than not find a lump that was cancer.

So please, follow the recommendations of The American Cancer Society, The American College of Radiology, The FDA, and a mammogapher who happens to be a breast cancer survivor. If you are older than 20, do self breast exams. If you are older than 25, have your doctor or medical health provider do a clinical breast exam each year. If you are 35, have a baseline mammogram and then once you turn 40, have a mammogram every year. If you find a lump, have unilateral nipple discharge that is bloody or green, see your doctor. If you have a mother diagnosed with cancer before age 50, subtract 10 years from her age and that is when you should have your first mammogram.

Know your breast. Be informed. And get screened!

Beating Breast Cancer- My Story

October is breast cancer awareness month. And I am a breast cancer survivor. My journey began when I was 47 and had a screening mammogram that showed a lesion in my right breast.

The radiologist ordered a diagnostic mammogram for additional views. On Thursday June 28, I had a breast needle localization. On July 3, the day before leaving for the beach for an extended holiday weekend, I got the news. I had breast cancer--DCIS-ductal carcinoma insitu AND invasive ductal carcinoma.

Because there was an invasive component to the cancer, I had to have a second surgery--a lumpectomy. Even though I'm a mammographer and for some strange reason, had mentally thought of what I'd do in the event of such a diagnosis for years, I still wasn't prepared. I just knew I wanted to survive--and survive with dignity. I documented my journey in a blog on My Space. Below are some excerpts from that blog--edited for content.

July 10, 2007
Today I had my first oncology appointment with this 12 year old oncologist who looks like Doogie Howser's little sister. They have the rest of my path report back. My hormone receptors were negative.That means I can't take tomoxofin. I can't do the hormone therapy in conjunction with the radiation. What that means is, my ass is going to be bald...okay, maybe not my ass, but possibly my head! I'm going to have to have chemo! That little tiny, less than 1cm tumor was an aggressive little bastard with high proliferation margins and no hormone receptors, so if I want to decrease my chances of a relapse ten years down the road, then I'm going to have to take chemo.

July 11, 2007
I feel just fine....for now...until the damn chemo starts! Just goes to show you that health isn't everything. You can feel like crap and be perfectly healthy OR feel great and be dying and not know it. There's some paranoid food for thought.

July 12, 2007 Today is Thursday. The day before my second surgery and the day I realized what tomorrow is. I arrived at work just fine. Friday the 13. That's when it hit me. I'm having a biopsy on freaking Friday the 13th!

July 13, 2007

Had my second lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, and port-a-cath placement.                                             
I went to bed really late last night talking to my husband, Johnny. But I woke up this morning at 6:30 and it's Friday the 13th and I'm in my own body. It's in God's hands.

Clean nodes and clean margins, God. Okay? Thanks.

July 14, 2007
Yesterday was my surgery. The nuke study was a bit embarassing. Dr. Stoll had to stick a needle in just above the aerola. He and Anthony were both in there, and I'll see them both and have to look them in the face when I go back to work on Wednesday. So of course, I had to crack a joke. They stuck the needle in, which felt like one hell of a bee sting. As they were watching the radition uptake flow from the injection site into the nodes, watching to see where the concentration was highest, and talking as if I wasn't there, and I said, "Gee, if I'd ever had fantasies about being with two men, this wasn't it."

Yep. I'm the queen of corny.
Around 3:30, they took me into OR. I was doing good until the anesthesiologist put that mask over my face. I freaked. I'm mildly claustraphobic, but it honest to God felt like she was putting a plastic bag over my head and telling me to take a deep breath. I remember crying and saying, "I can't breath!" But the next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room and the surgeon was telling me the surgery was over and all 4 nodes had come back clear. 

I have never known relief so profound.

July 16, 2007
Is it normal to worry about being too calm? Since finding out the nodes came back negative, it's like this peace has come over me, as if I know everything is going to be all right. I'm putting everything in my blog because I have to get these thoughts down while they're fresh because with all the drugs that have been pumped into my system, my memory isn't exactly reliable.

My mother reads my blog and feels it's of best seller quality. Trust me. I have no dreams of grandeur. Though I would love to publish a romance novel one day, and I do have an agent who will be submitting two separate manuscripts in the near future. I don't get excited over these things any more. I have a drawer filled with rejection letters.

July 17, 2007

Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide. (Cytoxin for short)The combo is called AC. My chemo drugs.

The oncologist gave me the choice of taking a 12 week regimen every three weeks or an 8 week regimen every other week. I'm going for the gold. Beginning Tuesday July 31, I will start my first round of chemo--once a week, every other week for eight weeks.

AC blocks DNA production in cells and inhibits enzyme replication so cancer cells can't repair themselves. Since cancer cells reproduce faster than other cells, if there are any cancer cells left in my body, the chemo drug will stop them from reproducing or repairing themselves so they will die. That's 8 weeks of chemo. Two months. I can survive anything for two months. Soldiers put up with a hell of a lot worse for a hell of a lot longer. I can do this!!

July 20, 2007
I cut my hair short so going bald won't be such a drastic change.

July 31, 2007
My first chemo treatment.
First, they sterilized my skin and stuck a needle directly into my port, which was weird. I felt the prick go into my skin, but not the port, which is a disc under my skin that has a catheter that goes into my subclavian vein. Then they drew my blood to make sure my blood count was good, and checked my hemoglobin. Then we waited for the lab to mix my poison. Literally.

AC chemo drugs are so caustic the lab techs have to wear rubber protective gear and mix it under a hood with an exhaust. And I had to have a full 5ml drip of saline and a slowly pushed dose of decadron (steroids) a half hour before they could even start the chemo. The purpose of the steroid is so I don't lose my appetite during chemo. Number one myth of chemo. Most patients do NOT lose weight on chemo. They gain it.

I got home at one thirty and took two nausea pills. I don't feel sick, just very tired. My eyes are gritty as if I haven't slept in days, but I'm good.My last thoughts before closing my eyes last night were, "Dear God, let me get through this first day of chemo without getting sick." And he got me through it just fine. Thank you.

Aug 1, 2007
Well, I made it to work today and even put in a bit of overtime.
I went to bed exhausted, feeling hung over and woke up with a bad case of reflux that was a bit productive. but I didn't really throw up. After poping a couple of nausea pills and my Prilosec, I felt well enough to go to work. I'm not bald, I'm not throwing up, but if the tingling sensation in my scalp is a harbinger of things to come, I expect that after my next treatment, I will have a few less folicles. Because I haven't been making Selsin Blue commercials.

Aug 2, 2007
Everyone warned me, but did I listen? No. I'm hardheaded. Stubborn. All those other names I've been called on occasion. But putting in ten and half hours my first day after chemo was a bit too much because I didn't last four hours today. It wasn't nausea that did me in, it was exhaustion. And diarrhea.

Everything I ate the night before made a grand exit starting at about 2:00 a.m. I was wiped out before I ever got to work and for some reason, my teeth have started aching. Especially, my molars.Am I going to have to add losing my teeth to my list of worries? Will I then be overweight, middle-aged, bald, and toothless when this is done? Hell, as long as I beat the cancer I can always get dentures. At least my teeth will be straight.
But I'd sure like to keep my teeth.

Aug 5, 2007
The beach was just what I needed. But the trip was a beast. I get carsick now. We arrived at the camper late Friday night and I felt like hurling.
We spent Saturday afternoon on the beach. Me, set up under the umbrella with a hat and book like an old woman. Johnny sat in the sun a few feet away. But when I got hot, I waded into the surf to cool down and like to wore myself out just getting back to the chair. Later in the evening, I took a shower and a nap. After the sun went down, we walked back out on the beach and sat in the sand.
I felt grounded and centered. I felt the power of God Almighty surrounding me. And so I prayed. I prayed for strength and courage and then I let go and sat there with an open heart and soul and mind and didn't pray. I just opened up for whatever God wanted to give back to me. And I felt at peace.

Aug 6, 2007
Learned a new word today. Nadiring. Sounds like Ralph Nadar only it has nothing to do with money. Wish it did. Nadir is the chemo killing my normal blood cells, specifically, my white blood cells (WBC's) and making me feel tired and worn out. My Red Blood Cells (RBC's) hematocrit, hemoglobin and platelet counts were acceptable. So, that's good. At least I'm not anemic.Nadir occurs seven to ten days after a chemo treatment. The condition ends about the time they juice me up again. Oh, joy!

Aug 13, 2007
Around four o'clock today I was washing my hands and just happened to notice a lot of hair on my scrubs. I brushed it off and looked in the mirror and noticed that my hair was looking rather flat. I ran my fingers through it and strands came out in my fingers. Lots of strands. I ran my fingers through again and pulled out handfuls. I didn't think it would start falling out until after the second chemo treatment. But apparently, for me, it has started falling out just thirteen days after the first treatment.

So, what is it with me and the number thirteen?

Aug 14, 2007
After supper, I took a shower and washed my hair, but it all started coming out in clumps and grossing me out. There was hair everywhere. Running down my back. Pooling at my feet. Piling up on the drain. It was nasty. As soon as I got out of the shower, I asked Johnny to shave my head. He swallowed hard and grabbed the clippers. My daughter Lauren looked as if she were about to cry. I didn't shed a tear. It felt like taking control. I decided when I was going to go bald. And I did it that night.

Aug. 15, 2007
I wore the wig to work today but the thing is hot and mashes against my ears.I pulled that blasted thing on and off, showing my co-workers my shaved head, trying to get used to it myself--and giving my itchy scalp a chance to breathe. Not a single person made me feel uncomfortable. Had I worked anywhere else, I probably could have gone bald or worn a scarf. But women getting mammograms do not want to be reminded of the reason they were there: to screen for cancer. And I was a walking example of a not-so-good outcome. At work, it wasn't about me. It was about my patients. I kept the wig on.

Aug. 16, 2007
An old high school friend took me for my second round of chemo. Johnny would have taken me to any of my appointments but I told him not too. He needed to work, stay occupied. We needed the money.

The Cytoxan drip tickled my throat and I got a little swimmy headed. When the nurse began pushing the adriamicin in, I got a burning sensation in the back of my throat but this time, I didn't get the pain or sudden tightness in my chest.

Aug 17, 2007
The day after my second chemo treatment, I didn't work. It was my scheduled day off and I took it. I did go to the oncology clinic for my neulasta shot, only to learn I'd gained three pounds since yesterday. Must be the rock that's been sitting in my stomach since last night. I don't feel nauseated exactly, but there is this weight in the pit of my stomach and I feel bloated and just all around "blah."

Aug 20, 2007- Monday
I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to make myself get up and move around. I'm supposed to exercise, go to work, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I just didn't have the energy today to put on my wig and my happy face and go to work, so for the first time since all this started, I called in sick.

Last night, I even threw up. Not chunks, mind you, just wet nasty that grossed me out.

Aug. 30,2007
Finished my third chemo treatment. My daughter took me. She carried her book bag filled with books, convinced she would study. She didn't.We talked.When we got home, I had reflux and felt tired. There just isn't a drug in the world that's going to make me feel good after being poisoned. But I'm not going to whine.

We don't always know God's plan and though I refuse to believe he "gave" me breast cancer, He knew it was coming a long time ago. Therefore, other things have fallen into place the way they have for a reason.

Yep. Things don't always work out the way we want but sometimes they work out the way we need them to.

Sept. 7, 2007
I'm still tired and bit and I think I have an electrolyte imbalance.I'm waking up during the night with killer cramps in my calf muscles. I feel queasy if I don't eat. Heavy, bloated, and uncomfortable if I do eat. Not true nausea so my pills don't really help. I don't feel good.

Sept. 13, 2007
Today was my last day of chemo. Mom took me. I got a little sick while the nurse was pushing in the adriamycin. I couldn't tell if I was queasy from the chemo or sick from hunger. I can't ever tell any more.

Sept. 16, 2007
Things I learned from Chemo:
1-Stay hydrated. Even when I went to bed, I kept a bottle of water nearby. Chemo burns the back of the throat like acid and without warning. And if the fire isn't put out quickly, nausea soon follows. Then lightheadedness.
2-Don't lie flat after chemo. For five days after a chemo treatment, I slept on the reclining end of the sofa. I learned that lesson after rushing to the sink with a bad case of early morning productive reflux after my first treatment.
3-Weight gain is inevitable. They give you fluids. They give you steroids. You don't get much exercise. Bread becomes your best friend because it is one of the few foods that do not upset your stomach.
4-You feel sick if you don't eat and sick if you do. But feeling sick on an empty stomach feels a lot worse. Take Prilosec if your doctor allows it.
5- Tastes change. Since those first two treatments when I had to sip a diet Coke because of the burning in the back of my throat, I haven't been able to drink a soft drink/soda since. Carbonated beverages just don't taste right to me any more, which is sad because I really love Diet Pepsi.
6- Stay positive. Keep a sense of humor, crack jokes, and pray. God didn't do this to you. He is not testing you to see if you pass or fail. Sometimes bad things just happen. But God is interested in how you handle things in your life. Ask for his help getting through it, but don't wallow in misery. That probably gets on his nerves.

No one knows at what hour death will come so we have to make the best of the time God has given us. I think that is the true test of God.

Sept. 19, 2007
I'm almost a week out from my last chemo and it's still kicking my butt. I have a bad cough, my back hurts, and I'm short of breath. The doctor ordered a chest x-ray. I don't have pneumonia but my immune system is vulnerable. They sent me home to rest.

Sept. 20, 2007
Tried to work, but got my lab results at lunchtime. My white blood cell count is Dangerously low and I have an infection. That same day, I was scheduled for my first radiation oncology appointment at Duke.

Sept. 25, 2007
Another lingering threat. The radiation oncologist didn't like the results of my second excision biopsy. The medical oncologist believed chemo would destroy any remaining DCIS in the breast and did not think it was a problem. Apparently, my radiation oncologist didn’t agree. In the frozen slides from the second biopsy, there was DCIS in five of eight slides less than 1 mm from the surgical margin. There was only one DCIS on one slide in the original surgery. There shouldn’t have been any DCIS in the second biopsy. The possibility existed that my breast was potentially riddled with DCIS. And doctors usually recommend a mastectomy in a case like that.

I’d already had chemo to destroy any remaining DCIS in the breast. Lots of women have DCIS and never develop breast cancer, and I didn't want mastectomy to be a knee jerk reaction to fear. The pathology report said DCIS in five of eight specimens but the oncologist didn’t know if it was a speck or a boat load.
He scheduled a breast MRI. And I waited, but I felt as if I were juggling knives.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."- John 14:1
Trusting in God would help me juggle those knives.

October 8, 2007
Dodged a bullet. The MRI was negative. I didn't need a mastectomy. The decision was mine. I chose to keep my breast and to start radiation treatments.

October 10, 2007
Had my treatment planning at Duke. First they made a mold and shaped it to my body. When it hardened, my left ear was stuck inside the mold, my head slightly turned away from my body so that when the treatments begin, my body will be in the exact same position every time.
Next, they marked off areas on my breast with strips of radiopaque markers and put me in the CT scanner. Once the oncologist and dosimetrist mapped out my treatment plan,they marked me, covered the marks with tape, and I was able to pry myself out of the mold and get dressed.

Radiation was going to be five days a week for six weeks. At least I wasn't having a mastectomy. And I could have the actual treatment at a local hospital.

Oct. 15, 2007
I don't expect everyone to understand why I post a blog. I don't do it for others or to see how many people read it. I do it for me. It's cathartic. It keeps me from getting depressed or upset or from losing my sense of humor. I'm just trying to survive breast cancer. It doesn't just go away. I don't think it's going to kill me. I have to believe that. But cancer is unpredictable and I just started radiation today. It will last for 6 weeks.

Oct. 16, 2007
My second radiation treatment didn't take very long but afterward, I met with my new radiation oncologist.
The good news is that without even trying, I have lost four pounds since getting off chemo. The bad news is my lungs still haven't fully recovered and the radiation could possibly do more damage. But at least I'm alive.

Oct. 24, 2007
Johnny and I went to the beach this weekend. We held hands and walked on the beach. I got very emotional and had a good cry and wonderful conversation with my husband. If I didn't love him already, I would have fallen in love with him all over again. It's nice to have a man say he loves you. Nicer still when he tells you he's proud of you or that he admires your strength and courage.
Then again, the feeling is so very mutual.

Oct 28, 2007
I am so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing just my face and shiny bald head.

Oct. 31, 2007

Halloween. My brother brought my nephews by to trick or treat. And made my week.

Nov. 14, 2007
Nine treatments left to go. I have radiation burns to the chest from mid line of the sternum to the center of my right breast and from the nipple to about six inches below the clavicle (collar bone.). I am also burned to a lesser degree on the lateral side of my right breast. The burn is red like a sunburn, but the skin is raised and feels like sandpaper. It hurts. But Silvadene cream is a miracle drug!

Nov 15, 2007
Had my first booster treatment today. Concentrated, directed radiation to the tumor bed. I have eight more and I'm Done.
Maybe then, my life can get back on track and I won't feel so tired all the time.

Nov. 22, 2007
I have a bad radiation burn under my arm. And it's my first Thanksgiving without Jennifer--my married daughter who lives in Germany. I missed her so much today I cried. But I'm thankful I had my mammogram when I did. I'm thankful I didn't have a mastectomy. I'm thankful I did as well as I did with chemo. I'm thankful my lymph nodes were negative. I'm thankful for my husband and how incredibly supportive he's been. I'm thankful for the love and support of Lauren and Jennifer. I'm thankfulmy cancer has made me closer to my mother. I'm thankful my cancer is curable. I'm thankful I'm almost finished with radiation. I'm thankful for the support and encouragement of family and friends both on and off line. And I'm thankful to God for giving me the courage and strength I need to fight and win the battle against breast cancer.

Nov. 27, 2007- Tuesday
My next to the last radiation treatment. I breathed a sigh of relief. After tomorrow, I’d be done. Unless the cancer came back before five years was up. Then I’d have no choice but to have a mastectomy. Possibly bilateral, depending on how quickly it came back. But when the doctor told me I was finished with treatments, I broke down and cried. I hadn’t really let go and now that it was over, the emotions came in a flood. I’d been such a control freak about it and now that it was almost over, it hit me. I’d made it through chemo and radiation. I beat cancer.

October 14, 2011
My last treatment was anti-climatic. But my battle isn't over. Since that day in 2007, I've had multiple oncology appointments with both the radiation and medical oncologist. I had mammograms every six months from June 2007 until February 2011. I've had two more MRI's and a brief scare with the left breast. But a subsequent MRI guided biopsy proved it wasn't cancer. Still, I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice by not having a mastectomy. Sure, I can still have mammograms to check for breast cancer. But if I didn't have breasts, I wouldn't worry. Then again, without breasts, the cancer could come back in my chest, bones, or other organs. So, there is no right choice. There's just the choice I could handle when I needed to make the decision.

As bad as all this was for me, I think it was worse for my husband. I knew what I was thinking and feeling. He could only guess. And he was never sure if I told him the things I did because it's really how I felt or if I was just trying to save him from worry. To be honest, I don't know either.
Today, I no longer see my oncologist. But I see my primary physician at least every six months. And this February will be my first screening mammogram since June 2007. My cancer was a triple negative. It could come back. But I've been through the fire and survived the burns. And I kept my faith.

Running on Pink

I can't say it enough. Early detection means a cure. Five year survival rates for breast cancer detected early in women over 45 is around 98%. And according to guidelines set forth by The American Cancer Society women who are asymptomatic should follow the recommendations found at: http://www.imaginis.com/breast-health/guidelines-women-should-follow-for-early-detection-of-breast-cancer-2

• Women 20-39 should have a physical examination of the breast (CBE or clinical breast exam) at least every three years, performed by health care professional such as a physician, physician assistant, nurse or nurse practitioner. CBE may often be received in the same appointment as a Pap smear. Women 20-39 should also perform monthly BSE.(Breast Self Exam)
• Women 40 and older should have a physical examination of the breast (CBE or clinical breast exam) every year, performed by a health care professional, such as a physician, physician assistant, nurse or nurse practitioner. CBE can often be performed in the same visit as a mammogram. Monthly BSE should also be performed.
• Women 40 years of age should receive a screening mammogram every year. The National Cancer Institute recommends mammography every one to two years for women between 40-50 years of age. Beginning at age 50, screening mammography should be performed every year.

The most recent and comprehensive research on breast cancer detection clearly indicates that regular mammogram screening saves lives, reducing the rate of death from breast cancer by an average of fifteen percent. The American Cancer Society and Mayo Clinic recommend that all American women begin scheduling routine mammograms at age forty.

Today's blog guest is author Lynne Roberts who was touched by breast cancer after her grandmother's diagnosis. But before we talk about Lynne's grandmother and how the disease affected Lynne. Let's find out a bit more about one of The Wild Rose Presses newest authors.

Lilly-

Lynne tell us a bit about your new release, First Date and After Hours. Can you give us a blurb and excerpt from each book

Lynne-

Thank you, Lilly. Well, I’m cheating. They’re not really new releases, FIRST DATE came out a year ago this month and AFTER HOURS released in early December, but it will be a few months before I have anything new on the cyber shelves. FIRST DATE will always have a special place in my heart because it was my first work of erotic fiction. AFTER HOURS is… well, David is one of those characters you wouldn’t mind meeting in real life.

FIRST DATE blurb:

The real estate market is about to heat up.

When Bret Jacob walks into Jill's real estate office, she attempts to maintain a professional demeanor, but memories of accidental voyeurism in high school, years of what-if's, and Bret's drop-dead sexy grin only serve to ignite her fantasies.

Bret needs a farm for his growing landscape business. When he sees Jill Daniels' picture in a real estate ad, he can't believe his eyes: The shy girl from high school has blossomed into a desirable woman. Ten years ago, she didn't stir his blood and drive away all rational thought; now, he's fighting the urge to take her in his arms long enough to ask her on a first date.

FIRST DATE excerpt:

Bret stood inside the door, and she drank him in. His white button-down shirt opened at the neck, accentuating his square jaw and doing nothing to disguise his well-muscled chest. Faded denim wrapped long powerful legs, and she forced her gaze not to linger on the pronounced bulge between them, her mouth filling with saliva at the thought of what lie beneath the denim like a present waiting to be unwrapped. He was tall, muscular and comfortable in his own skin. She’d bet he’d never had an awkward moment in his life. If anything, he looked better than he had in high school.

She blinked, breaking the spell and walked forward, extending her hand. “Good morning.” Her voice quivered a little. “I’m Jill Daniels.”

His hand enfolded hers, his fingers warm and slightly calloused. The contact pebbled her skin, sending shivers rippling over her body. “I remember you.”

Deep and seductive, his voice caressed her body like a physical touch, sending a jolt of pure need straight to her core. He remembers me? Bret released her hand and Jill rubbed a thumb over her now-tingling palm, her skin awake and yearning for those roughened hands to touch more.

Bret’s brilliant gray-blue eyes were now creased at the corners and golden highlights lightened his sandy brown hair as though he spent a lot of time outdoors. The slow, sexy smile hadn’t changed. If anything, it had gained potency.

“I’m Bret Jacobs,” he added.

She reminded herself to smile. “I remember you, too.”

“Well, good, I was afraid...” He left the thought unfinished.

Did he honestly think anyone would forget him? And was that a blush? Did he remember the party, too? He couldn’t. The image of Bret she occasionally used for her late-night showers filled her mind and a shockwave of desire stole her breath. Oh, God, she should have brought a change of underwear.

Bret smiled and Jill’s heart dropped into her stomach.

“So, are you ready?” he asked.

More than you’ll ever know. “Yes.”

AFTER HOURS blurb: Elle Simpson doesn’t deny that the new intern is sexy as hell but he’s also ten years her junior--and she doesn’t date men from the office. Of course, dating isn’t what comes to mind when David Nelson enters a room. When Elle’s boss assigns her to work an important account, she’s thrilled—until David volunteers to help. Working one on one with her desirable new assistant is bound to test the limits of her restraint.

Everything about Elle, from her professional savvy to her hot body, turns David on, but first he has to unravel her mixed signals. After a few late nights alone with Elle in the office, David is at the end of his tether. It was hard enough during the day; keeping his hands off her after hours is proving impossible.

AFTER HOURS excerpt:

Some men simply walk across a room, but not David.

Elle Simpson watched from her office as the new intern, his hips moving in a predatory roll, strolled to the copier and stood with his back toward her. No, not David.

She felt the color rise in her cheeks as her gaze traced his body, from the dark hair just curling at the nape of his neck, past wide shoulders, to the dangerous-looking narrow hips and an ass made for grabbing. Her body warmed and her inner thighs began to tingle.

David turned, as though he could sense her scrutiny, and flashed a smile that could short-circuit a city. Hell, it certainly did a number on her. Elle swallowed, hiding behind a noncommittal nod, and hoped she gave the impression she was too busy for pleasantries. Damn. She needed to be more careful.

After many years with the company, she’d earned her reputation as a dependable, hardworking, no-nonsense kind of woman. She grimaced. What would her fellow employees think if they knew every time David Nelson walked in the room, Elle’s synapses stopped firing as all the blood left her head to settle between her legs? She shifted on her chair and the friction caused her pussy to ache, reminding her of its neglected state.

Evidently finished with the copier, David gathered his papers and walked back to his cubicle. Elle tilted her head to better watch him walk down the hall. A damn sexy man. Perhaps he’d been born with some sort of exclusive hip design. It would explain the fluidity of movement.

Elle shrugged. One thing was certain—when David walked into a room, or out of it, he had her undivided attention. She didn’t think he was trying to be sexy, or if he was, the effort had become, well...effortless. There was just something in the way those well-oiled hips moved that made her wonder what else they could do.

Lilly-
They sound like great stories. Where can readers find them? Is there a buy link?


Lynne-

Thanks, Lilly, you can purchase both at The Wilder Rose Press, Amazon or other online bookstores.

AFTER HOURS:  http://www.thewildrosepress.com/wilderroses/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=142&products_id=745

FIRST DATEhttp://www.thewildrosepress.com/wilderroses/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=142&products_id=731

Lilly-
Now on to the more serious subject of breast cancer. How old was your grandmother when she was diagnosed?
Lynne-
She was in her 60’s when she was first diagnosed.Lilly-
Well, 70% of all breast cancers are in women over 50. But having a first degree relative with breast cancer increases your odds of developing in by 6 to10%. Is this your maternal or paternal grandmother?
Lynne-
She’s my maternal grandmother. The women in my family realize we have a slightly higher chance of developing breast cancer, but I didn’t know the percentage. I’ll be sure to keep up the monthly self-examinations!
Lilly-
Has anyone else in your family been diagnosed with breast cancer?
Lynne-
No one else has developed cancer of any kind. Thank God. We do think my grandmother’s mother might have had cancer. Back then, they didn’t check, but the symptoms sound about right. Knowing I'm at risk is an encouragement to be aware and tuned into my body. Lilly-
BSE's or Self Breast Exams are very important. And while we're talking about risks, I'd like to share a link on breast cancer. http://www.halls.md/breast/risk.htm

This tool can be invaluable when discussing your breast cancer risks and need for earlier mammographic screenings with your doctor. I also understand you run in the Komen Race for the Cure. Tell us something about the foundation and your experience.

Lynne-

I’ve run in the Komen Race for a couple of years now. The first few were in celebration of my grandmother’s win against breast cancer. Last summer, one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer and the race took on a whole new meaning. She was undergoing chemotherapy in October and she still participated. It was extremely emotional. This year, she will be one of the survivors.

We gather at the local state University before and after the race. There is an overwhelming feeling of camaraderie, kinship, and a side-helping of humor. Some of the slogans they come up with on the shirts will leave you laughing and sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Lilly-
I've attended Relay for Life and have twice attended the survivors walk.

 I can't tell you what an emotionally draining and yet life affirming experience that was for me. Especially that first walk when my hair was just starting to grow back. When we released all those purple balloons into the air in dedication and memory of those who didn't survive their ordeal with cancer, it really got to me. And made me that much more thankful to God, my family, and my doctors that I am still alive and now cancer free.

Thanks so much for visiting with us today and for sharing your story. And thank you for Running on Pink.

Lynne-

Thank you, Lilly. I’m so thankful to you that you’re sharing your experience and helping raise awareness.

FIRST DATE
www.thewilderroses.com
AFTER HOURS
www.thewilderroses.com

http://LynneRoberts.net 

 

Lilly-

Thanks for walking for the cure!